The Many Uses of an Invisibility Cloak
by Half-Angel
Summary: Everyone at Hogwarts will soon discover that these cloaks aren't just for smuggling dragons and getting out of the school anymore. X3 Rated T for a suggestive themes and language. Chapter five is up!
1. Filch's Office

**The Many Uses of an Invisibility Cloak**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters, places, or pretty much anything that comes from the Harry Potter world. If I did that would make me J.K. Rowling, which I'm not. Boo hoo….

**A/N: **I came up with this after reading a Hermione/Ron fanfic. You'll learn what I was thinking of later. But for now I want to do this chapter. Oh…and sorry for any typos I may have made and didn't fix in here.

_Italics are thoughts_

"This is speaking…but I'm sure you knew that."

It was around 10:00 P.M. All the students were in their dormitories (at least they're SUPPOSED to be). It was a full moon out and a clear sky, a perfect night for one to go out and gaze upon the sky. But not Filch.

Filch was sitting in his office going through his drawers of confiscated items from the student's in his desk. There were gobstones, stink pellets, whoopee cushions, rat poison bottles, dead rats from the rat poison, condoms (XD), bubblegum, notes, candy, and more. He looked around to see if anyone was looking (which is weird since it's **HIS** office) but no one but Mrs. Norris and himself were there (DUH). He reached for a Licorice when something slapped him from the back of the head and dove face first into his drawer. The Licorice snaps began to live up to their names and began biting Filch as he struggled to pull his head out. When he finally yanked his head out he spat out a Gobstone (that had just gone off) that got in his mouth and looked for the culprit.

But there was no one there except him.

Filch scowled thinking this was another one of Peeves tricks and went back to looking through his drawer. He rubbed his neck in agony (getting your head stuck in a drawer isn't exactly something your chiropractor would advise) as he leaned forward. Now his drawer was empty.

His eyes widened as he frantically searched for where they could've gone. Peeves must've taken them out when Filch was looking for who knocked him into his desk. If Peeves really had all those things that had been the drawer, think of all the chaos, destruction, and blackmail he could do!

"PEEVES! This _isn't_ funny! Show yourself! If you don't, so help me I'll get the Bloody Baron! DO YOU HEAR ME PEEVES! **THE BLOODY BARON!**"

No response.

_He's trying to mess with me! He's plotting something….he's waiting for me to let my guard down._

Now he was really going nuts. Peeve's was nowhere to be seen; only making Filch tenser.

"**REOW!**"

Filch spun around to see his precious cat being swung around by the tail in front of the window. The moon was shining right into the window so it was quite a sight to see. But Filch didn't care. Peeves had crossed the line and was going to pay.

"**I WARNED YOU PEEVES! NOW I'M GETTING THE BLOODY BARON!**" he bellowed.

"You rang?"

Filch jumped and turned to see the Baron in all his bloody glory floating behind him.

"How did you know I-?"

"Everyone in the castle could hear your screaming Argus. The real question would be 'How could I NOT know you needed me?' "

"Well….then you must know that Peeves has been-!"

"Actually Argus…I saw Peeves stuffing dead frogs in the Girl's Lavatory on my way down here. You may want to take care of that before morning comes by the way."

Filch was dumb-founded. Not only did he need to find a plunger to find some frogs, but he now knew Peeves wasn't to blame for this.

Meanwhile poor Mrs. Filch was still getting dizzy in the moonlight but we'll worry about that later.

"But…but then who's-?"

"I'm not sure Argus but since whoever this is may not be willing to listen to me, I see no reason for me to linger here any longer. Good luck." And with that the Bloody Baron drifted out of the room.

Filch searched his brain trying to remember any other poltergeists Hogwarts might have but he couldn't remember. He just said the one name he could think of.

"Myrtle? Is that you?"

The perpetrator finally stopped spinning Mrs. Norris and gently placed her down. Mrs. Norris wobbled around on the floor trying to stay up. Then she let out a big furry upchuck.

_Great….another thing to clean. _Mr. Filch thought was the half-digested contents sunk into his carpet.

Now that he knew his cat was fine, all he needed to worry about was what happened to the things in his desk.

"Myrtle! If that indeed is you then I ask you to put my things back in that drawer! They're dangerous items to be carrying around and I don't want to get in bed worrying that the ghost of a big crybaby is walking around with them!" he screeched.

The next thing he knew a Gobstone came flying towards his head, smacking him right at the forehead. Filch tumbled over and came crashing into his desk. He felt himself blackout as the throbbing pain took over, then he fell unconscious.

"Oh geez! We better leave now Fred!"

"Right behind you George!"

The sound of running footsteps filled the room as the twins ran out of the office under the Invisibility Cloak.

"It was awfully nice of Harry to let us borrow his cloak for this!" said Fred.

"Sure was. When we said we'd put some of the stink pellets we'd find in Snape's office he was happy to give it to us." said George.

The brothers were sitting on a couch in the Gryffindor common room congratulating themselves on job well done. They'd put the riches they'd found in a pile on the table in front of them.

"That was hilarious the way you spun Mrs. Norris around by the tail George!" said Fred.

"Oh yea, I heard that swinging a cat by the tail under a full moon is good luck!" said George.

"Isn't the cat supposed to be _dead_ for that to work?" asked Fred.

There was a slight pause.

"Oh well. Seeing her throw up on Filch's rug makes up for it!" George responded happily.

"Do you think I overdid it when I threw the Gobstone at Filch's head?" asked Fred.

"Nah. He called Myrtle a big crybaby. I think she would've _wanted_ us to do that." replied George.

Fred started going through their loot from Filch's office (that they hid under the cloak) hoping to find a Chocolate frog. "Say George…Filch seemed a little _too _eager to get this stuff back didn't he?" he asked as he bit into a licorice snap.

"You know…he kinda did now that you mention it. Wonder why…?"

"Maybe he his something along with this stuff so no one would find it."

There was a slight pause then the brothers dove into the giant pile, looking for anything

"Licorice wand, stink pellet, enchanted mouse trap with sharp teeth, dead mouse with teeth marks…" muttered Fred browsing through the pile.

"You know he really needs to throw those away, not keep them in a desk!" said George.

"Yea….I'm starting to think eating that licorice snap wasn't such a bright idea…" said Fred clutching his stomach.

"We'll have to make up an excuse for Madam Pomfry later. Okay what is here? Pumpkin pastry, love note…"

He stopped to read it, and then threw it in the fire.

"Mushy crap poem…who'd want to go out with someone who writes stuff like that?" said George in disgust.

"Yea…let's see. Here's a condom (Fred slipped it in his pocket when George wasn't looking), a rubber mouse, and….Oh My God."

They'd found what Filch was hiding. They'd just discovered Filch's dark secret! Fred and George just sat there and stared in horror at what they'd just found.

It was Viagra.

So how was it? Not bad for a first chapter in my first story right?

You thought the Ron/Hermione thing was in this chapter? Sorry no. That's in the next one.

I'd like to say thanks to my friends werecool and RockLifeDude for inspiring me to do a Harry Potter fic and for giving me the idea that led to this. Whether you meant to or not. 3

If anyone has a suggstion for another chapter feel free to suggest some! Who knows? It may lead to my next idea!


	2. Surprise!

**The Many Uses of an Invisibility Cloak**

**Disclaimer: **Nope, I don't own Harry Potter or any of his friends. Or enemies for that matter. I don't own any part of Hogwarts either. Wish I did though…

**A/N:** This is the Hermione/Ron chapter I mentioned! Enjoy! Oh…and Hermione/Malfoy fans _MAY _like this. I'm not sure. If you're a Herm/Malfoy fan and it didn't really do much for you….sorry. ;;

_Italics are thoughts_

--.oOo.--

Hermione was sitting at a desk in Charms class (normally they'd be in Potions, but it had to cancelled due to an inexplicable smell XD) writing down notes. Professor Flitwick was actually rambling on about something completely unrelated to the subject but she thought she should be writing down something anyway.

"…and then my second cousin Alphonse comes in and tries to break up the fight, but Winry and Trisha shove him away and poor Alphonse falls right into his brother Edward! Then they both come crashing down into the table that had all the Butterbeer bottles! Hoo, we were just lucky they didn't get hurt by the glass shards." Flitwick rambled on about his family reunion.

"_Didn't…get…hurt…by broken…bottles." _Hermione wrote down. "OH!" she suddenly yelled.

Everyone turned to face her.

"Is there something wrong Miss Granger?" Flitwick asked in an annoyed voice. _I was just getting to the good part!_

"N…no sir! I was…just…excited about your story! What happened next?" Hermione blurted out nervously.

"Oh the funniest thing happened! You see, after we helped the brothers up there was a knock at the door and…!"

Hermione pretended to look interested as everyone slowly turned their attention away from her.

_What was that? It felt like….like…someone _groped _me! _Hermione thought with horror. It had truly felt that someone from behind had walked up and grabbed her butt.

Hermione turned her head just enough to see that the only one behind her was _Malfoy!_

**_What! _**_No that CANNOT be right! Why would that greasy…FREAK grab me there! Why God WHY?_

Malfoy was looking down at a piece of paper, doodling something on it. So he didn't notice that Hermione was staring daggers into him.

_That perverted createn! He will PAY for that!_

She slipped out her wand, careful that no one saw her, and pointed it at Malfoy.

"Knok-eeo-ballzis!" she whispered.

There was a little flash of light and then-

"**ARRRGGGHHH!**"

Malfoy toppled back onto the ground, writhing and rolling in pain. It seemed like an invisable boot was kicking him in his special place down below.

"What….is going on! MAKE. IT. **STOP!**" he cried.

Everyone got out their seats and rushed over to see the show. Flitwick tried to jump off his gaint pile of books he was standing on, only to end up toppling the books over and come crashing down.

Crabbe and Goyle just stood there dumb-founded. Not sure if they sould help, or if they'd have their little generals under attack if they did.

"That's what you get for what you did Malfoy! How DARE you violate me like that!" Hermione screeched. She was having a rare moment of rage right now.

"What…are you…talking about!"

Hermione leaned closer so she wouldn't have to say it loud enoguh that everyone could hear. "My butt! You grabbed my ass you slimeball! What's _wrong_ with you! If sex if what you want then let me now say that you're the **LAST** person I'd **EVER** do it with!"

Malfoy's face turned ever paler than it already was.

"**WHAT? WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH A MUDBLOOD LIKE YOU!" **he bellowed.

I don't think I have to tell you that everyone heard that, and since no one but Malfoy heard what Hermione said they all thought that she was blackmailing Malfoy into having sex with her.

"Oh…my….God! Hermione _what's_ gotten into you?" cried Ginny.

"That is disgusting…" muttered Dean.

Neville looked like he was about to cry.

"MISS GRANGER!" cired Flitwick before fallnig over again.

"Malfoy….you're not going to…you know…with-?" Crabbe started.

"NO! OF COURSE NOT!" The spell on Malfoy had apparently stopped.

"Then why-?"

"I DON'T KNOW, GOYLE!" Malfoy got up and started his way out of the room. "My father will hear about this Mudblood!"

Hermione had turned a very dark shade of red. She looked around the room; all eyes were staring at her appalled at what they thought the top Gryffindor had just done. Hermione quietly grabbed her things and left the room without a word.

--oOo--

By that afternoon almost everyone had heard about the 'Knok-eeo-ballzis' incident. Everyone who saw Hermione either looked away, shot her a disgusted look, shouted a nasty or perverted comment, or ran away(many guys chose the third one). Poor Hermione was so embarrassed and the thought of jumping from the Girl's Domitory corssed her mind a couple times. What really bugged her was that Malfoy obiously hadn't grabbed her. But then who did?

--oOo--

"Ron, do you have _any _idea what happened after you left?" Harry scolded Ron.

"No…I ran out right after I grabbed Hermione." Said Ron with a slight smile on his face as he recalled that glorious moment of his life.

"Didn't you see who was behind her? MALFOY!" Harry cried.

"So? She didn't think _he _did it…did she?" Ron asked worriedly.

"Yes, she did! Haven't you heard yet!"

"No…why? What happened?"

-------------------------------------------oOo--------------------------------------------

That's it for chapter two! Now you know how my twisted mind works! X3

Poor Herm…I almost feel bad about that. But when Ron finds out he may feel like jumping out the tower himself!

Oh….I saw the Knok-eeo-ballzis on a comic by ktshy from deviantART. So…that wasn't a Half-Angel original.

Herm: Half-Angel? YOU'RE NOT AN ANGEL AT ALL!

Me: Says you, pervert.

Malfy: MY FATHER _WILL _HEAR ABOUT THIS!

Me: Is that like your catch phrase?

--oOo--


	3. Surprise! Continued

**The Many Uses of an Invisibility Cloak**

**Disclaimer: **I said it once, I said it again, now I'll say it once more. I don't own Harry Potter, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, or anyone else in the series!

Oh…and I forgot to mention that in my last chapter that the names from Flitwick's family reunion story were from Full Metal Alchemist. Did anyone notice that? And I made a reference to a 'Garfield' comic about the swinging a dead cat in the moonlight thing from Chapter 1.

**A/N: **This is a follow-up from chapter two. I wasn't sure if the ending was good enough. I had finished and published it at like 10:30 P.M. so….I just wanted to get it finished and put it up. But I decided this little story would be funny!

--oOo--

Ron was sitting in front of Harry, his mouth was hanging wide open. Harry had just told him what Hermione had done after he groped her.

"NOW do you see how bad this is? Poor Hermione is humiliated! " Harry scolded.

"Yea…but what can I do? I can't apologize, cuz then I'd have to tell her it was me and she'll Knok-mah-ballz!" Ron cried.

"You should at least try to make her feel better. It's the least you could do."

"Think I could grab her br-?"

"_**NO!" **_

"Alright! That would make _me_ feel better if I were her though." Ron grinned.

"_Go."

* * *

_

Ron found Hermione in the common room reading a book by the fireplace. Ron looked over and got a sinking feeling in his stomach when he saw the title.

"**Suicide for Dummies"**

"Umm….you're not _really _thinking about…trying that are you?" Ron asked with a shaky voice.

"No. But I want to prepared in case worse comes to worse." Hermione stated simply.

"Right…say Hermione? Did you ever find out who…you know…" Ron asked sheepishly.

"No I didn't! That pervertered man got away!" she cried in frusteration.

"What makes you sure it's a guy?" asked Luna Lovegood strolling by randomly. She left the room after her question.

There was an akward pause.

"Oh please God, let the person be a man! If it was a girl then everything will only get _worse! _I wouldn't be able to handle it!" Hermione cried.

"Are you still talking to God or me?" Ron asked.

"AAHH!" Hermione cried and went face first into her book and started to sob.

Ron did a quick scan of the room, hoping there would be someone who could help him out of this. Seeing no one he started to pat Hermione's back (suspiciously close to an area he touched earlier).

"It's….it's okay. Everyone will forget sooner of later!"

"Ron! They think I wanted to **bleep** Malfoy! They think I was _desperate_ to do it!"

"Who's _they _exactly?"

"Oh, you know…_everyone at Hogwarts! _Do you really think they're going to forget that?"

"Well no…but I thought I should say that to cheer you up a little."

Hermione put her head on Ron's shoulder and continued to sob. Ron his arms around her back and pulled her into a comforting hug.

"Dumbledor wants to see me in his office in half an hour! What am I going to say!"

"Just tell them what happened! He'll believe you. Look…if you're that worried maybe I'll go with you. I'll be your witness!"

"Ron, to be a witness you had to see what had happened. You weren't even there! How could you…wait."

Hermione looked up at Ron. "Where _were _you?"

Ron felt his heart stop.

"Um….w-well….y-you see…I was-!"

"Ron…you're stuttering. And you're pausing to think! People do that in movies and on TV when they're trying ot make up a story! _RON WHERE WERE YOU!"_

"What's a TV?"

* * *

And that's how Hermione spent fifteen mintues explaining what a TV was. 

"Now…_WHERE WERE YOU!_" Hermione yelled. "Wait…when I got back here after class I thought I heard Harry…._looking for something."_ Hermione said, her eyes widening in realization. She pushed herself away from Ron with a look of rage and disgust on her face.

"IT WAS **_YOU!_**" she screeched. "How dare you!"

"I'm so sorry Hermione! It was incredibly stupid! I won't do it again! N-not that I planned to do it again but…please control yourself!"

"_**CONTROL MYSELF! YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE STEALING HARRY'S CLOAK SO YOU COULD GROPE ME!" **_

Harry could hear Hermione's scream from the boy's dormintory and could feel his private places get warm as he knew what was going to come next.

"Hermione please!" Ron pleaded as he hid behind the couch, waiting for an opportunity to escape.

"KNOCK-!"

Ron sprinted for the portrait door.

"…EEO-!"

Ron had just reached the door and was on his way out.

"...**BALLZIS!**" Hermione finally finished. A little blast of light shot out of her wand and then…

"**AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH!**"

Ron toppled out of the portrait door and fell to the ground curled into a ball from the pain. There was another thump and the invisable boot kicked him again and again and again. Students who were standing by rushed toward Ron to see what was happening.

"Ron! What's wrong mate!" Dean cried.

"Hey! He looks the same way Malfoy did the other day in Charms!" Patil called out.

"Is Granger doing this?" some random dude in the crowd asked.

As fate would have it, Hermione came out, her wand still pointing at Ron.

"There! That should teach you! Don't you ever come near me again! You're _awful!" _she yelled.

"Hermione!" Luna cried.

She looked up and her face turned pale as she saw the large crowd around them.

"_SHE'S DONE IT AGAIN! ONLY NOW WITH WEASLEY!_"

"Wait, she said he's awful. Do you she meant that he was awful in-!"

"**EEEEWWWWWW!**" Ginny yelled in disgust and horror.

"That is _WRONG!_" Dean yelled.

Neville fainted.

"I don't know whether I should be laughing…" Fred started.

"…Or screaming." George finished.

"MISS GRANGER! IN THE HEADMASTER'S OFFICE! **_NOW!_**" a very angry and disturbed Mcgonagall yelled.

Hermione hid her face as she followed the Proffessor.

* * *

"Professor Dumbledor I swear I didn't-!" 

"I know you didn't Hermione." Professor Dumbledor said calmly.

There were in his office. The portraits of former headmasters were still pretending to be asleep, but you could tell they were listening intently. Fawkes was looking at the portraits in a way that said "You perverts."

"But…but everyone else-!" Hermione began to sob. "Everyone else does! And what's worse is that I lost my cool and hurt poor Ronald! Am I an awful person Professor? Do I live to what everyone else thinks of me?"

"You're getting your period aren't you? Actually, don't answer that. Don't worry, I've got it all figured out. We're going to erase everyone's memory of this occasion."

"You'd…you'd do that? Aren't you only supposed to use that on Muggles? Have you done this before?"

"Of course I've done it before! You just don't remember because of it." Dumbledor said in an almost joking way.

"For what?"

"Well….for situations everyone thinks you're trying to get into. There was this one time when Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Pavarti-"

"Malfoy and Pavarti!"

"Oh…I shouldn't have said that. Well, I'll just erase your memory along with everyone else's."

"But wait! Harry and Ron should hear this! Knowing that dirty little secret we could-!"

"Which is why I wipe people's memories of these sort of things."

And with a flick of his wand everyone's memory went blank.

* * *

How was that? I was a little unsure about some of these parts but I got over it. 

Herm: '_As fate would have it!' It's how the stupid writer would have it!_

Me: Oh lighten up. No one remembers it now. Hang on…do _you_ still remember it!

Herm: Remember what?

Me: Okay, good.

Herm: No, what? Should I know this! _WHAT HAPPENED?_

Neville: How come I appear to be mute in these?


	4. James Potter is here to play!

**The Many Uses of an Invisibility Cloak**

**Disclaimer: **I seriously don't own Harry Potter. I don't own any part of him! I own a bag of Bertis Botts Every Flavor Beans, but that's different. I got that from the store.

**A/N: **This chapter takes place back when Harry's parents, their friends, and Snape were students at Hogwarts and the cloak belonged to James. We all know that James, Sirius, and Lupin were big jokesters back in their school days (Peter just tagged along) so this is a chapter of one of those times. Enjoy! Please leave comments! Half-Angel looovveesss the little comments. X3 Thanks to RocklifeDude for some of the ideas for this chapter. You rock! XD

Heh heh heh…there's a little slash in this chapter. It's pretty one-sided but still, just a heads-up. )

Ah, Hogwarts! A place where magic fills the walls of the castle and the hearts of its students! And what teaches those students are the happy magic-filled teachers! Let's go see what's going on down there right now!

"**_GODDAMMIT POTTER COME HERE!_**"

A very angry, **very** sexy, and youthful Argus Filch was racing down the halls chasing James Potter at full speed. James had done it this time. He had crossed the line.

"**YOU'RE GONNA GET IT NOW YOU RAT!**"

James took a sharp turn into the next hall.

"And now…I shall vanish mysteriously!" James said with pride.

He whipped out a cloak and covered himself with it, vanishing into thin air. Orlando Bloo-I mean Argus Filch ran right past him. As soon as he was gone James took the cloak off and left to find his friends at the Gryffindor common room.

"Jeez James…what did you do _now?_ We could hear Filch scream all the way from here!" A young Remus Lupin asked. James had just arrived in the common room and told his story.

"I swapped his lilac shampoo with a liter fluid that I charmed to ignite once it hit his hair." James said.

"Nice!" Sirius cried out.

"I guess….but I can do so much better than that! I need to think of something else….but what?"

They all sat there brainstorming ideas for a while….then it finally hit them.

"This is the idea that all troublemakers like us have tried to dream up for generations!" James yelled out with pride.

* * *

"Stupid brat…I'll kill him if it's the last thing I ever do!" 

Shmexy pants here was just trying to think of the perfect way to punish James Potter in a very painful way. He had come close to losing all his hair, but the water from the shower doused it.

So it was quick yet painful. Very painful. It had left the skin on his scalp all red, blotchy, and hot. So he wore a very sexy black hoodie over his head to hide the bald spot.

"But _how_ will I get rid of him?" said Mr. Brad Pitt as he sat down and scratched his chin.

He thought….and he thought…and he thought….and HE THOUGHT….and then his mind got distracted by some students walking by and he started thinking of how fun it would be to torture them using a porcupine. Then he got back on track and thought about how to get rid of James Potter.

Then it finally hit him.

"Oooh….that's puurrrrfect!" he said with an evil smirk on his face. "I'll have him expelled for sure with this plan! But first…I need to find my lilac shampoo and compare it with my lily shampoo. 3"

"Okay…if we have it all here by…maybe 7:30 P.M. then we should be able to-"

"You know James if you want this to be a "Secret plan" then you shouldn't say this stuff out loud where people can hear you!" said Remus. They were discussing things at the Great Hall over lunch.

"Sorry, I guess some of the excitement of this plan is spilling out from my mouth." James responded in his evil glee.

"I can't wait to see it happen!" Sirius responded, sharing James's glee.

Peter Pettigrew looked up at Sirius and blushed. Sirius noticed this and looked down at his friend.

"Something wrong Petey? Your face is red, you feeling sick or something?" he asked.

"Dude, since when are you the caring one?" James asked.

"Hey I'm caring! I have a sensitive side!"

They all looked at him disbelievingly.

"Sometimes I am…when I feel like it….right Petey!"

"Of course…" Peter responded softly. He wasn't really listening. He was having a blissful moment knowing that Sirius had called him by a pet name.

"What are you guys plotting now?" came a female voice from behind.

James smiled and turned around to see Lily standing there.

"Hey gorgeous! Do you have a ma-?" James started.

"That better not be another stupid pick-up line James!" Lily snapped.

"This one's not dumb! I promise!"

Remus rolled his eyes. He knew pick-up lines never worked, but James insisted on trying them anyway.

"I still don't want to hear it! What I want to know is what you guys are plotting!"

"Plotting? We're not plotting anything." Sirius said all-too-innocently.

"I'm not _stupid_ Sirius! They didn't make me a prefect for nothing for know!"

"Hey Lily, do you wanna come down to my workshop?" James said suddenly.

Everyone looked at him.

"_What?"_

"My workshop! Maybe when we get there I can show ya my "ultimate screwdriver"!" he said.

Everyone in the Great Hall stared at him. Lily quietly walked away.

"A screwdriver?" Sirius said after the crowd looked away.

"I told you it wasn't dumb! She probably just left to slip into something James said with a big grin on his face.

Remus got up and left without a word.

"What's with him?" James asked.

"What's a screwdriver? That's what I was asking for! Is it a Muggle thing?" Sirius asked again.

"Can I rub your feet Sirry?" Peter squeaked.

"What 'chu say?"

"Nothing…"

* * *

Later in the common room, a poster was being hung on the wall. It said: 

**Slumber Party in the prefects lounge starting at 7:30 P.M.**

**Gryffindor Girls only!**

**Any boys who tries to sneak in will be severly punished.**

**THIS MEAN YOU JAMES POTTER.**

-Lily the Prefect

"She wants me _so_ bad." James stated when he finished reading.

"Are we going in there anyway?" Remus asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yup."

* * *

Argus Filch was aware of the girl's party. He was aware that all the girls in the Gryffindor house would be in there in loose or tight fitting PJs and that it would draw Potter like a big magnet to them. 

He also had a plan to expose him and his friends so they'd be expelled. He wasn't afraid to do whatever it took to expose him either.

But first he had to compare his lilac _conditioner _with his lily one with the remainder of his hair.

* * *

Soon it was 7:30 P.M. and Lily was already impatiently pacing the lounge. 

"Where is everyone? I the sign said 7:30! It's already 30 seconds past 7:30! Did no one want to come? Is it because I'm a prefect? THAT'S IT! No one wants to ocme because they're all afraid I'll be all bossy and to-the-book! Well I won't! I'll be free spirited! I'll be wild! I'LL BE AN ANIMAL!" she cried.

"Lily? It's us…the girls from Gryffindor….we're outside the door listening to your ranting, is this a bad tiem for us to come?"

Lily's face turned bright red as she walked over to open the door.

Soon the party started. Everyone was in PJ's or wearing pants with just a bra on (COUGHONEOFTHOSEGIRLSBEINGLILYCOUGH). Everyone was glad they could all stay in the nice prefects room tonight and were having fun just talknig to each other and doing each others hair and makeup.

Of course, lots of good parties have crashers. And there happened to be four of them hiding under an Invisability cloak right now, ready to take pictures and gain some memerable memories.

They had a couple games out to play, and they were about to start the first one. Magic Truth or Dare.

What's makes Magic Truth or Dare different besides it being magic? Well in this version of Truth or Dare, you can't chicken out. If you lie during Truth, you'll feel a painful zap. If you refuse to do what you're dared, or if you don't do it is good enough, you also get zapped. You also have to spin your wand and who ever it lands on is who you give the challenge to (so the wand can palce the zap charm thing on them). Like Spin-the-Bottle only you don't kiss anyone. Unless you're dared to of course.

They all sat in a circle ready to play. A fourth-year girl named Laura began. She spun her wand and waited for it to stop. The wand spun around fast, with blue sparkels coming from the tip. The girl's were anxious knowing that there was good chance of humilation coming their way.

The wand finally stopped and it pointed to another fourth-year named Bria.

"Alright Miss Bria. Truth or Dare?" Laura asked with a devilish tone in her voice.

Bria thought for a moment. "Umm…..Dare?"

"_Yesssssssssssssssss." _LaTrice thought.

"I dare you to…."

Bria gulped.

"…go ding-dong-ditch Professor Dumbledor!" she said with evil glee.

Bria blinked. That wasn't as bad as she thought…

"…only you can't run away!"

Bria blinked again.

"But….then it's just a ding-dong."

Come to think of it, she couldn't do the ding-dong part either. Dumbledor didn't have a doorbell.

"I know!" Laura said.

"Ookkkaaaay…."

It still wasn't quite as bad as she thought. Dumbledor was a nice guy.

"Okay, you go do the Ding-Dong and we'll keep playing!" Lily said simply. For a prefect, she didn't seem very concerned that she was playing a game where you can dare someone to get into trouble. Now she was the one causing, no _encouraging, _the problems instead of fixing them.

Bria got up and ran out of the room to get the Ding-Dong over with and the next girl (A fifth-year named Vanessa) spun the wand.

"Well that wasn't too much excitement." Sirius said under his breath.

"Well, I don't think Laura is exactly very bright." Said Remus. (No offense to anyone named Laura.)

"Shh…the wand is starting to slow down!" Peter squeaked.

James was too entranced with the sight of Lily's goods to notice what was going on.

The wand laned on none-other than Lily.

"It landed on Lily!" Sirius said quietly.

"What?" James said, snapping out of his fantasy world.

Vanessa smiled. She got to Truth or Dare the host.

"Truth or Dare Lily?" she asked.

"Truth." Lily said confidently.

"Okaay….."

Vanesaa thought for a minute. Then the perfect question came to her mind.

"Do you like James?"

Ah the classical "Do you like…?" questions. Cliché but everyone loves them. Especially in this case. Everyone leaned in eagerly to hear what Lily had to say. At long last the truth would be revealed! Did the sexy little police girl like the bad trouble-maker!

James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius leaned in too. James most of all. Half to hear what Lily said, and half to look down her bra.

Lily's faced turned a bright red. "Are you sure that what you want to ask me?" Lily asked.

"Ohhh, in denial are we? That must mean you-!" Vanessa started.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Lily sighed. "Well…..I-"

Of course, before Lily could say the answer the question all fans wanted ot hear, there was a big flash of light. The girls looked to where the light came from to see what was going on.

What had happened three mintues earlier:

"Do you like James?" Vanessa asked.

James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius leaned in.

"Ohhh! I can't wait to hear this!" Sirius whispered gleefully.

"This will be quite interesting!" Remus said excitedly.

"I get to hear Lily confess her feeling to me and look down her bra at the same time!" James said devilshly.

"You're standing so close to me Sirius! 3" Peter said happily.

James looked at Peter. "Hey Peter, give me the camera! I wan't to save this moment on film!"

Before Peter could say anything, James had the camera and took a picture.

The flash went off.

Back to the Present. Which would be right after the flash thing…so we're really not going anywhere….huh.

James heart stopped. He grabbed Peter by the collar.

"I thought I told to turn the flash **_off!"_** He hissed.

"I'm s-s-s-sorrry!I thought for sure I did!"

"We should go, _now!" _Remus said.

They started to go when Lily grabbed the cloak and pulled it off.

"I _knew _something like this would happen, you creeps!" she yelled. She raised her wand to jynx them when a another fifth-year girl stopped her.

"Aw come on Lily! Let them stay! It'll be more fun with a few boys around!"

The other girls giggled and nodded in agreement.

"But…!"

"Come on Lily, you woudn't be a very good hostess to let your quests down now would you?" Sirius chirped up.

"Oh….ALRIGHT!

James and the other gave each other high-fives and grinned.

"But…!"

They all stopped to look at her.

"You have to play this game with us!" Lily said with an evil smerk on her face.

-

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN! CLIFFHANGER!

Sorry, but if I kept going this thingwould be long enough for two chapters!

Special thanks to werecool and RockLifeDude to keep encouraging me to keep writing this.

Also thanks to everyone else who've commented on this.

**Ohyeah100**

**MormonMaiden**

**The Poisoned Donut of DOOM**

hands everyone a sexy Argus Filch Plushie Go do whatever you want with it! 3 wink

If you're a guy….you can just beat the plushie up because chances are it's sexier than you.

And it talks when you squeeze it's tummy! 3

"**GODDAMMIT POTTER COME HERE!"**

Isn't it sweet? 3

I'm working on the next chappie, along with a Full Metal Alchemist fanfic! So look forward to that!

YES I CAME UP WITH THE SCREWDRIVER PICK-UP LINE. ALL BY MYSELF!

You wanna know how I came up with it? I was watching the begining theme of Full Metal Alchemist, and it showed Winry asleep with a wrench and I said "Winry is the only girl who's sleep with something like a screwdriver."

Right after that is when it hit me. That is undeniable proof that I have a very warped mind!

Oops! I almost forgot to get one of the characters mad! Hey Hermione!

Herm: Yea?

Um….RON'S WRITING A MA RATED RONXHERMIONE FIC RIGHT NOW!

Hemr: **WHAT! **runs off to kill Ron


	5. Magical Truth or Dare with the Boys

**The Many Uses of an Invisibility Cloak**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter. It's as simple as that.

**A/N: **Yes, the continuing part is now here. Have fun. What's going happen now that there are four _boys _joining the party….officially that is. Oh yea, there's a wee bit of nudity in here. Just a little.

COMMENTS PLZ! Comments make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

---------------

"You want us to play Truth or Dare?" Sirius asked.

"Well…yes!" Lily said. By the way he said it, they didn't seem as worried as she hoped they would. But that would soon change.

She hoped.

So everyone had gone back into sitting in a circle, only now with the boys joined in with them.

"Okay Lily, you have to spin the wand now!" A third year girl reminded.

Lily spun the wand and it landed on James. Who else?

"Okay Potter, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare me babe."

"I dare you to…." She stopped to think. She looked out the window; she saw the moon light was sparkling on the lake. That's how she got her idea.

"I dare you to swim in the Black Lake!"

"Alright…."

"_Butt-naked."_

The girls all "ooooohheed".

"You really just want to see me in a birthday suit don't you Lillian?"

The "oohs" were cut off by a huge wave of laughter.

Lily grinned ignoring the laughs; James was about to wish he never snuck in here.

Now after some awesome "Mission Impossible" style sneaking out of the castle with the Invisibility cloak and other details I'm too lazy to write about, everyone was outside by the lake.

James looked down at the water. Lucky it was spring, or the water would've been even colder than it looked.

"Well Potter? We're waiting!" Lily yelled. She and the girls were standing a couple feet away.

"Don't you mean that _you're_ waiting?" He said with a sly grin.

Before Lily could say anything James said "Alright, I won't delay this any longer." And with that….

**STRIIIIIPPPPPPPPP!!**

Lily had to look away and cover some of the younger girl's eyes. Girls were giggling and oohing, some were even whistling.

There was a big splash and James was in the water.

"How is it Prongs?" Sirius called out.

"Re-re-re-Refreshing!" James shouted through chattering teeth. "How long do I have to stay in here?"

"Ten minutes!" Remus yelled back.

Ten minutes…he could surely stand it for that long. Right?

Argus Filch didn't think so, he'd make sure of that. He was standing on top of watch tower looking through a telescope with a camera in one hand. A picture of this is all he would need to get him expelled, but he was going to have some fun with Potter.

"Argus? What are you doing?" Came a woman's voice.

Argus knew that voice in an instant. It was his girlfriend Megan Norris. Her arms drapped around his shoulders and he looked up into her blood red eyes. She had long auburn colored hair with streaks of dark brown in it, tied up in a ponytail. She had a slim figure, was almost as tall as Argus, a had small little nose above her thin cherry lips. In other words, she was pretty….very pretty.

"What are you doing out here? Some students get out?"

"That's right. A whole flock of them, and just look at what one of them is doing."

Megan looked through the telescope. "Oh my!!"

"Yea….in fact it's a good thing you're here, my cute little witch. Can you freeze the lake with a spell of some sort? If it stays that way in the morning Dumbledor will see him and expel him for sure!" Said Argus.

"Well….okay!" She said cheerfully. With a flick of her wand a few words an icy blue color of light shot out of her wand and hit the water, completely freezing it!

"HAHA! Now let's see Potter now that he's…GONE!!"

Sure enough, James had gotten out and left before the lake froze. Now he was on his way back to the dorm room with everyone.

---------------

Now it was Peter's turn to spin the wand. He spun it around and after watching it spin for about a minute it landed on Remus. He gave a little sigh and looked up at Peter.

"Truth." Remus answered, not even waiting for Peter to ask.

"Um…" Peter thought. He didn't want to humiliate his friend in front of a bunch of girls and his other companions. Fortunately there had been something he'd meant to ask Remus for a while. He was a little afraid he would take offense of this, but he had to ask! This was for something very important to him!

"W-when's the next full moon?"

A few girls looked at each, confused. Not everyone knew about Remus being a werewolf. It wasn't really a topic Remus felt like bringing up in conversations ("Hey! Did I ever tell you guys that during a full moon I go through a horrible transformation and become a snarling werewolf?")and Dumbledor respected his students to keep these kind of things quiet.

"On the 31st I think…." Remus responded, trying to sound like he had no idea why Peter asked.

Why did Peter want to know this? Last time there was a full moon Peter's favorite pair of slippers (pink fluffy bunnies with blue button eyes) had mysteriously been reduced to pieces of fluffy bunny carnage. This way he'd know when to hide his second favorite pair (blue wooly hippos with green button eyes).

"Well, I can't think of what I'd want to ask or dare anyone, so how about you go next Lily?" Remus suggested.

Now normally I don't think people would let you slide with that excuse, and a few girls protested against this, but Lily said she'd gladly take another turn.

Lily spun the wand again, spewing out more sparkles as it did. It finally slowed down and landed on, Peter.

"Alright Peter, truth or dare?"

Peter began to shake. If he chose Truth she might make him say who he liked! But if he chose Dare…..he nearly wet himself thinking about it. Either way he was done for. The only question was which was the lesser of two evils?

"Uhh….DARE!!" he blurted out.

He was scared, since Peter often joined in his friend's mischief Lily was going get revenge on him. He sort of wished he chose truth now.

"_Dang…._" Lily thought. She knew Peter had been crushing on a certain shaggy dog person (it was pretty obvious, and she wanted to make him confess it in front of said person.

"I dare you….TO TELL US WHO YOU LIKE!" Lily shouted after some quick-thinking.

Peter went very very very pale.

"Well….you see…it's…."

He started to sweat.

"The person I like…..that is…I like…."

More sweat.

"He-I MEAN…No….well see…!!"

He had sweat so much it looked like he peed on the carpet.

"_It's S_-!"

"Now hold on there!" James said suddenly.

"What is it Potter?!?" Lily yelled. She was SO close!

"I believe Miss Vanessa asked you a similar question, but you neglected to answer!" He stated.

"Oh yea that's right!" Vanessa cried. She'd completely forgotten when the boys showed up.

"I think you should answer you're question first before poor Peter humiliates himself."

Remus had a sinking feeling in his stomach. This wouldn't end well.

Lilly turned red; half from embarrassment and half from rage. How _dare _he!!!

"GAWD POTTER, AS A MATTER OF FACT I DON'T LIKE YOU! YOU'RE SLEAZY, SNEAKY, AND A JERK!!!" she screamed.

The wand didn't zap her. She was telling the truth. And now since all had been said she stormed off leaving everyone sitting there in awe.

James just sat there. He didn't show it, but his heart was broken. It felt like she just stabbed him in the chest with a knife and twisted it around before pulling it out.

Sirius looked at his friend and put his arm around his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, but James didn't even notice.

The other girls just sat there….they didn't know what to do or say next. Thankfully one girl spoke up.

"Try apologizing." She said.

"What? Why?"

"Well….not to make you feel worse, but you've kind of been an asshole lately."

The other girls, plus Remus, nodded in agreement.

If James refused he'd only seem more like an asshole, so he got up to find Lily.

He found her wallowing in her own fury beside her bed, she didn't even bother looking up at him.

"Hi Lily….are you going to speak to me?

No response.

"Look, I know you're mad at me and you don't want me around right now, but I just thought I'd say I'm sorry, okay? I mean that, I'm really sorry."

He turned to leave when-

"Why did you come to this party anyway?" Lily asked.

"You posted a note telling me not to, how could I refuse?" James responded.

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Nothing else?"

Lily was sure he was hiding something, but knowing him there was no way he'd want to tell her. But…

"Well…I guess….I guess it's….it's because I lo-." He started, but was cut off but a loud-

**BANG!**

"Hey guys! Sorry it took me long to get back from Dumbledor's! He's even cooler than I thought! When I told him I was dared to ding-dong-ditch him and not to the ditch he laughed and invited me in his office! Look, he even gave me big bag of lemon drops!"

In case memory fails you, the person who just spoke was Bria. From the last chapter. She was dared to ding-dong-ditch the Headmaster and not run away. It seems that now she's back, and with lemon drops! Isn't that nice?

James used this distraction to drop the subject and move on.

"Glad to see your back Bria! We should all be heading back with the others guests now, don't you think Lily?"

"I guess so…" Lily said, still a little suspicious.

"Okay…._THIS _time Potter WILL BE EXPELLED!"

Argus Filch was sitting upon the roof the girl's dorm with a bungee cord attacked to his waist. The camera was in his hands again, ready for action.

Megan Norris was sitting nearby with a look of concern on her pretty little face.

"Argus…do you really think this is a good idea? Don't you think _you'll _get in trouble for doing all this? Plus this just doesn't seem safe…have you ever bungee jumped before?" she asked.

"Nope. Never."

"That's what I was afraid of…"

"Look, what can go wrong, I'm going to bungee jump of this 297 foot tower and try to take a picture of James and his little gang being the girl's dorm and hope that the picture is blurry from whizzing by on this cord. Then I'll show it to Dumbledor and they'll be expelled!" Argus stated proudly.

"Isn't there a charm or something on the stairs to the girl's dorm? How'd the boys get past-?"

"HERE I GO!"

Argus leap off the tower and started to fall toward the window where he'd take his shot. When he got close he got his camera ready and then-!

"There was a big flash from outside the window, startling everyone inside. The girls gasped from surprise and ran toward the window to look for the source of the light.

"Did someone cast a spell?"

"I didn't hear anything…"

"It looked like the flash we saw before the boys showed up!"

James's eyes widened. It _did _look like a camera flash.

"Well how do like that? Some pervert is trying to takes pictures of these scandally clad school girls while they're having a girl's only party! Why, the nerve of some people!" James yelled in disgust.

Remus rolled his eyes.

Back on the roof of the tower Megan was pulling (with difficulty) her boyfriend back up to see if he succeeded in his mission.

"I did it Megan!! I got the picture!!" Argus was as soon as he reached the top. "Potter and his friends are _history!_"

"That's great Argy!" Megan cheered as she pumped her fists into the air.

"Yes! Meg, if this plan works will you marry me?"

Meg froze. She thought her ears were broken. Argus began to get nervous from her silence.

"Ah….well….I guess it was too soon to ask you that so-." He started but he was cut off by a-.

"YES! YES! I DO I DO I DOOOOOOOOOOOO-!!!!!!"

Love makes you do crazy things. For example pouncing on your lover to embrace him causing him to fall off a dangerously high tower with you in his arms would be crazy. And lethal.

Horror gripped the would-be happy couple as they started to plummet towards their doom. Megan let out a loud scream that could be heard across the castle, meaning that the members of a certain slumber party could hear too, probably better than anyone else.

James shot his out of the window to find the source of the noise, but all he really had to do is look up. Which he did, and that's he saw the would've-been-happy couple falling towards their deaths.

James didn't like Filch of course, and he'd never even talked to Megan, but he didn't want them to die! He whipped out his wand and yelled "Netcexto!" and a giant golden web like net shot out of his wand, catching Filch and Megan. The net, still attached to the wand by a long thread plunged to its limit until it was left dangling by Jame's wand. With help from Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, and the other girls, they were able to pull the net up and bring the couple to safety in the tower.

"Mr. Filch!! Oh my God, are you okay?!" was Lily's first reaction upon seeing who was in the net.

"_Fine. We're fine._" Said a fuming Filch. Being pushed of a tower and nearly falling to his death was _not _the kind of reaction he was expecting from his proposal.

He looked over at Meg, her eyes were swimming with tears. She knew what he was thinking and he knew she was sorry.

But that's when reality started to sink in. It had happened. The wonderful thing he had been dreaming would happen finally did! He's been so nervous before he almost felt sick, that he wouldn't be able to do it. But he did…

HE HAD A PHOTO THAT WOULD EXPEL JAMES, REMUS, PETER, AND SIRIUS AT THE SAME TIME!

"Well Mr. Filch. James just saved your life, isn't there something you need to say." Said Lily.

James sat next to Lily, grinning from ear to ear. It wasn't everyday the man who hated your guts had to thank you for saving his life.

"Yes...I believe you're right." Filch sat up, facing James who was beaming now.

"James Potter….ENJOY YOUR LAST NIGHT AT HOGWARTS!" he laughed like a madman and he showed him his camera.

The camera he had was the kind that once you took the photo it developed instantly and came out a little slot. How the picture was still in the slot after that great fall is a mystery, but another mystery is how Filch never saw his prized photo.

"Umm….how does this photo get me expelled exactly?" James asked, looking very confused.

"_What are you talking about?!_ Don't you see?! I have a photo of you sneaking into the girls-AAAAH!!!"

Filch had finally seen his precious photo.

Allow me to explain. As Filch fell from the tower at lightning speed, he only had a second to realize when the window was approaching and that would his cue to take the photo. However when your taking pictures at this speed the chances of your pictures coming out so blurry you won't even be able to tell what on earth you were desperate enough to bungee jump of a tower to take a picture of, is very great.

"Oh I know! It's like those ink blot pictures a physiatrist tries to show you to see if you're crazy! I should know…my parents have hired someone to give me that test all the time ever since they found out I'm in Griffindor." Said Sirius. "What do you think it looks like Remus?"

"Um…A really messed up person's face?" Remus guessed, knowing he was probably wrong.

"No, wait! It's a…a…pie! Only someone stepped on it and it splattered everywhere!" said Vanessa.

"It's a puppy!" said a second year.

"I say it's a tan balloon that just popped and there's confetti inside it." Bria stated.

"No, it's the portal to Narnia!"

"Redrum!"

"It's a harem!" said a little first year.

Everyone stared at her with a shocked look on their faces.

"Am I the only one who thought of that?'

No one responded.

"Guess I am…" She said turning red.

"Enough of this!!!" Filch cried. "I will not take this anymore! Megan!! Do something!"

"Like what?" she asked, a little worried.

"Can you use your magic to unblurr this picture?" Filch asked desperately.

"Um…I could try."

"Wait, hang on! What is that picture _supposed _to be? Why are you so upset about it?" Lily demanded.

"It's a photo of these boys being in the girls dorm! When Dumbledor sees this they're expelled!!"

"What!?" James yelled.

"That's no fair!!" Sirius growled.

Peter grew pale and whimpered.

"Won't Dumbledor want to know how you got that picture?" Remus asked.

Filch froze. "What?"

"I mean, do _you _have permission to check the girl's dorm?"

"No….that's not my job….it's McGonagall's." Filch stated with sudden realization.

"So it sounds like if we're expelled it also means that you-"

"…would be sacked!" James finished.

Filch just stood there, feeling defeated. What was supposed to be a great day had gone for the worst. Was there a way he could explain the photo? He felt hopeless.

"Well, let me see the photo anyway. I want to try this spell out. Hold it up for me Argus." Megan said, breaking the silence.

Filch did so, still feeling hopeless. As Megan raised her wand toward the picture, ready to cast a spell when-

"AAAAAH!!! Remus you said the next full moon wasn't till the 31st!!!"

Peter was screaming and pointing out the window toward the moon. All the girls ran toward the window to check. Megan, with her wand still up starting chanting her spell.

"_Bluri-_OOF_-co!"_

One of the girls had bumped in Megan, causing her wand to face a new target. Unfortunately this target was a mirror and when her spell hit the mirror it bounced right off. Filch had noticed that the spell had missed the photo and turned around to see what it had hit, but his timing was very bad. The spell hit him smack dab in the face.

"AARGH!"

"ARGUS!!"

Filch's face was squirming and writhing making horrible blurry expressions. Things formed and the deformed on his face as Filch clutched it trying to make it stop.

Lily and James stared at their caretaker in disgust and horror as his face continued to wiggle and squirm. James was the first to speak up.

"We need to take him to the hospital wing! Stat!!"

"Oh! Right!" said Lily snapping to her senses.

"Well it's a good thing you brought him here! If his face went untreated for too long it would've ended up sticking like a deformed monkey face!" said Madam Pomfry.

"That sounds like something my mother used to tell me when I was a kid. 'Stop making faces or it'll stick like that'!" Sirius said.

"Yes, this is where that phrase comes from!"

Filch had been placed in intensive care at the Hospital Wing, where James, Lily, Sirius, Peter, Remus, and Megan stood outside of with Madam Pomfry.

"Will he be okay? Lily asked.

"He'll live. But there's a good chance that handsome face of his will be horribly altered! He may end up looking like an unpleasant hobo with some kind of sexual disorder!"

Everyone looked horrified as that image was carved into their minds, especially Megan's.

"No!! Argus! This all my fault!! I've…I've destroyed my fiancé! Aaahhhhh!!!" Megan cried. She made a run towards Filch's room running into a table with remedy potions all over it. One potion didn't have a lid of any kind and spilled all over her. There was a small 'Boom!' and yellow cloud of smoke filled the room.

"Ms. Norris! Are you alright?! Where are you?!" James yelled as he tried to find his way through the smoke.

Madam Pomfry ran toward a window and jerked it open letting out the yellow smoke. "Well is she alright Potter?" she asked when most of the smoke had left.

"Well….define 'alright'."

In James's hands he held, not Megan but a messy auburn colored cat with the same piercing red eyes that Megan had.

"Oh dear…let me see the bottle she knocked over!"

James did as he was told.

"Oh no…this is usually what we use to _reverse_ animal transformation! I guess it can work the other way around too…"

"You can fix this though, right?" Remus asked.

"Nope."

"_What? _Why?"

"I don't reverse what's supposed to be medicine! They don't make a "Turn an Animal into a Human" potion you know!"

"They don't?" Sirius asked, surprised.

"Nope. Sorry. Now if you excuse me, I think Argus will want to know about this." With that Madam Pomfry left them alone.

"Poor Ms. Norris…." Lily said sadly.

"Yea….what can be worse than turning into some furry creature?" James agreed.

"Ahem."

"Oh, sorry Remus."

"Wait! Remus! Why aren't you a werewolf? Didn't Peter say it was a full moon?" Sirius asked, suddenly realizing it.

"My moon chart is never wrong; I've made sure of that. Peter simply overreacted. The moon we have tonight is called a Waxing Gibbous."

"Which means?"

"It's _almost_ a full moon, but not quite. Very close though, I can see how Peter could make that mistake."

Peter looked pretty ashamed. It was his fault that Filch's face was ruined and his fiancé had been turned into a cat.

Peter realized that it probably wasn't safe to turn into a rat on the school grounds anymore.

"It's almost morning…" said Sirius, noticing a clock on the wall.

"We'll have plenty of time to catch up on sleeping in class tomorrow. Said James happily.

"No you won't. All of you have avoided trouble so far, but you better get back in your dorms before your luck runs out!" said Lily.

"Does this mean you're not going to report us, Miss Prefect?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Consider it my free "Get Out of Jail" card."

"Sorry, a what?"

"It's from a muggle board game that has everyone wanting to kill each other near the end."

"Cool! How do play?"

"Let's go Sirius." Said Remus.

"James. Before you go, what was it you were going to say to me?"

"Sorry?"

"When I asked why you came, you were going to say something then Bria entered. What was it?"

James paused for a moment. He scratched his head, thinking of a way to answer.

'I….Don't remember!"

"What?"

"Yep! Sorry! Memory is blacking out on me. Maybe someday I'll remember and then I'll tell you." James said with a playful grin on his face.

"Well….yea okay."

"See you tomorrow?"

"Yea."

"And you're really not going to report this?"

"Promise not to sneak in to another "Girls Only" thing?"

"Aw, but we had so much fun tonight!"

"_**Potter!"**_

"Okay, yea. I promise."

HOLY CRAP THIS CHAPTER TOOK ME A LONG TIME!

I'm sooooo sorry everyone! So so _so_ sorry!

Gah, what took me even longer was the seventh book finally coming out. You can't blame me for _that._ Can you?

Anyway, thanks so so so so so much to those who commented! _**Lots**_ of love to:

**Werecool**

**RocklifeDude**

**MormonMaiden**

You all get James and Lily plushies! And a bag of lemon drops to go with them! There! Don't YOU wish you commented now?

Just kidding.

And now…Hermione abuse.

HEY HERMY!

Herm: I'm not talking to you.

**FINE!** hits her with a dictionary

Herm: X-X

Note: I don't hate Hermione. I know in these last couple chapters I've kind of treated her like crap, but she's cool. Really. It's just my weird way of saying "You're so cool Hermy!"

Hermy: _Lies…_


	6. Epilouge

**The Many Uses of an Invisibility Cloak**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter. It's as simple as that.

**A/N: **This is the epilogue of the last chapter! Hope you like it!

-

Madam Pomfry entered Argus Filch's room. He was resting on his hospital bed, after all, having your face messed up by a spell can really wear you out.

"Feeling any better?" Pomfry asked, already knowing the answer.

"No!!" Filch cried painfully. He pointed to his face. "WHY?! Why did this have to happen to me Madam?! What did I do to deserve such a fate?!"

"You snuck into the girl's dorm trying to take a picture of them and expel four young boys."

"You're supposed to make me feel _**better!!" **_he cried.

Filch clutched his head, which had been covered up with bandages. "I was so close too…it was the best plan ever."

Madam Pomfry didn't believe for a second that jumping off a tower to take a photo of half-naked girls and a few teenage boys was the "best plan ever" but decided not to say anything. Instead she opened up a bottle of Magic Painkiller potion and poured a spoonful for Argus.

"Open up."

"No!" Filch crossed his arms angrily. "That mess tastes awful!"

"You're the last person in this room to call something 'a mess' , now please take it! It'll help!"

"It'll help my face?"

"Well, no. It'll make the pain go away though!"

"I want something that'll fix my face!"

"Oh come now Argus! It's not bad!"

"NOT BAD?! Argh! This is exactly what I should expect from a rookie nurse like you!!" Filch roared.

It's true; at this point in time Madam Pomfry was new to Hogwarts. But she was just as strict and didn't like to be insulted. She grabbed Filch's nose and pulled it up, forcibly opening his mouth, and shoved the medicine in. Filch's new face scrunched up in disgust and stuck out his tongue.

"Oh stop being such a baby! I'm going to check on my other patients so don't go anywhere!" And with that Pomfry left.

Poor Filch laid back on his bed, waiting for the awful medicine taste to go away. He felt something hop up onto the bed. He looked up to see a ginger cat. With very familiar looking eyes.

"You remind me of Meg…" He said weakly and sighed. "We were going to get married…she would've been Mrs. Norris." He sighed again. "No doubt she's left Hogwarts because of what's become of my face….so the wedding's off." He stroked the cat. "Mrs. Norris…that has such a nice ring to it doesn't it kitty?"

Megan licked his hand. Filch sat up again. "I know! How would _you _like to be Mrs. Norris? Yea! Would you like to live with me kitty?"

The new Mrs. Norris sat down next to him and fell asleep.

"I'll take that as a yes. Oh Megan…I'm still going to miss you. But this cat has your eyes!"

He clenched a fist. "I would still have the real Megan Norris if it wasn't for that Potter!! Damn boy! This is his final year too! I swear if he has any children that come to Hogwarts I will do my best to make them MISERABLE!! In fact….I HATE CHILDREN PERIOD!! They all deserve to be punished!! I'll hang them by their thumbs in the dungeons!!" he bellowed. "ALL OF THEM!! AAARRGGH!!" His face started hurting again. He tried to relax again. "Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't a Squib…I need to start learning ways I can use magic…." He looked at the bed next to him and noticed an ad on it. He leaned and grabbed it. It was an add for "QuickSpell"

Filch grinned.

Mrs. Norris continued to sleep next to her former fiance, happily purring.

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OKAY THAT'S IT!

Sorry it's kinda short….and that it took so long.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this story! Thank you for reading!


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